Avoiding Missteps in Wealth Transfers: Why Families Must Talk, Not Just Plan
The greatest generational wealth transfer in history is already in motion, with trillions expected to move from baby boomers to their heirs over the next few decades. While much of the media coverage centers around the dollars and mechanics, what often gets overlooked is the deeply human side of this transfer—expectations, relationships, values, and conversations that aren’t happening.
In fact, research from Edward Jones shows that only around 40% of baby boomers plan to transfer their wealth during their lifetimes. Even more concerning: more than one-third of Americans don’t plan to talk about their wealth transfer plans with their families at all.
That silence is where real problems begin.
Wealth Transfers Are Emotional, Not Just Financial
Too often, families treat wealth transfer like a set of legal documents—wills, trusts, titling—and assume that’s enough. But when the family never discusses the “why” behind the plan, it opens the door to confusion, resentment, and missed opportunities.
We’ve all seen examples, both public and personal. The Vanderbilt family built one of the greatest fortunes in American history—and lost nearly all of it within a few generations. Meanwhile, the Rockefeller family implemented strong governance, educated future generations, and used clear communication to preserve and grow their legacy.
What made the difference? Not just better documents. Better dialogue.
What Happens When Families Don’t Talk
When families avoid conversations about money and legacy, several predictable issues surface:
Misaligned expectations. Heirs may be shocked by what's left—or not left—for them.
Strained relationships. Without understanding the reasons behind financial decisions, siblings and family members often feel slighted or confused.
Poor stewardship. Without education and context, heirs may not be prepared to manage the wealth they receive.
Missed tax and strategic opportunities. Silence can cost real money when gifting strategies or business succession plans are neglected.
Don’t Wait for Your Advisor to Start the Conversation
Advisors like myself can help facilitate these conversations—but we can’t replace them. The most meaningful outcomes come when families commit to proactive, transparent discussions about wealth and values before anything is transferred.
Here’s what families should be doing:
Schedule regular family meetings. Don’t wait for a health crisis or estate event. Meet when times are calm to discuss values, goals, and how wealth fits in.
Share the “why,” not just the “what.” It’s not enough to say who gets what. Heirs need to understand the rationale behind the decisions to feel included and prepared.
Talk across generations. Baby boomers and millennials often see money differently—safety versus growth, tradition versus impact. The best outcomes come when these perspectives are acknowledged and blended, not ignored.
Discuss the family business—openly. If a family business is involved, communication becomes even more essential. Will it be sold, passed on, or split? Who wants to be involved? What happens if someone doesn’t?
Educate early and often. You don’t need to disclose everything at once, but teaching heirs about basic finances, family values, and stewardship from a young age helps them grow into responsible decision-makers.
Create a family governance structure. Consider writing down shared values, decision-making protocols, or forming a family board—even if it’s informal. It helps future generations know how to operate together.
What Happens When Families Get It Right
When families engage in proactive planning and communication, the benefits go well beyond dollars:
Stronger family relationships. Clear expectations reduce conflict and help siblings and cousins collaborate, not compete.
Better financial outcomes. From tax savings to legacy impact, coordinated planning pays off.
A lasting legacy. Most families don’t just want to pass down money—they want to pass down meaning. That only happens through conversation.
Start Talking Now—Before the Clock Starts
The truth is, wealth transfers aren't just financial events. They’re family events. And every family has the opportunity to get ahead of them.
Advisors can support and guide the process, but the best outcomes happen when families themselves are willing to be vulnerable, honest, and proactive.
So don’t wait for your CPA, attorney, or advisor to bring it up. Set the tone now. Your legacy isn’t just what you leave behind—it’s the clarity, trust, and values you pass along the way.
Eric Bottolfsen is Co-Founder and a financial planner with Allwealth Planning in Phoenix, Arizona helping entrepreneurs and families of all varieties with their estate planning and wealth management needs across the country. His firm is an independent firm of experienced financial professionals dedicated to prioritizing client needs above all else. You can learn more about the company on their website https://www.allwealthplanning.com.
eric@allwealthplanning.com | (623) 624-8550 | 2325 E Camelback Rd, #400, Phoenix, AZ 85016
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